Ashes of a First Love
He was my first boyfriend.
Everything started out great, but then slowly, the guilt-tripping started.
Whenever I’d say no to sex, he’d get super upset, and it was easier to just agree to it.
Eventually, he started talking to other women.
He would openly share with me the details of his conversations with these women, including how the messages were flirtatious and sexual in nature.
He first hit me when I got upset at his cheating.
The physical abuse continued alongside verbal berates and manipulation.
He eventually started doing drugs. He left me feeling worthless.
When he needed a fix of sex, he’d convince me that if I had sexual relations with him, he’d come back and try again. He’d always turn around and call me stupid for believing him. He and his buddies would leave threatening notes on my car, follow me home, wait outside my house, contact me through burner phones, share explicit photos of me, etc.
One of his other friends (who had asked me for a relationship while I was with my ex) stalked me and harassed me for months, saying I deserved it.
It didn’t stop until I moved away to college, and I still haven’t gotten justice.
I now live with a debilitating PTSD diagnosis and borderline personality disorder.